Today I had a moment at work - one of those moments when I wished, with every fiber of my being, that I could punch someone in the nose and get away with it.
I didn't want to go all Chuck Norris on him and drive a piece of his nose into his brain, killing him with one surgically placed punch. No, I just wanted to see him cry like a baby for a moment. It was completely stupid too, it wasn't that what he said was so awful, it just came at a bad moment, and the way he smirked at me while he had his say made all my sensors go directly to Alert! Alert! Punch the douchebag!
I entertained myself on the way home coming up with the snappy comebacks I never deliver at the moment of aggravation. It's probably a good thing I never think of anything to say, because if I ever spoke from my authentic self (snort) I could just pass Go without collecting $200 and go directly to Take This Job and Shove It.