It's 4:45 in the morning, an hour that I would prefer not to know. In a perfect world I'd be able to sleep from about 2:00 am until noon. Then I'd get up and enjoy a day full of luxury and fantastic idleness, which would end with me reading or watching bad movies until 2:00 am. Rinse, repeat.
But since I wasn't born rich and have not found even one measly multimillionaire to leave me his entire fortune, I will have to go out to earn my bread later today. And this 4:45 a.m. is going to turn around at about 10:00 a.m. and bite me in the ass. This is the second night I've not been able to sleep for longer than a couple of hours. I function pretty well most days, but occasionally I have nights where sleep is impossible. I am tired and my body would love to sleep, but my mind is like a gerbil on one of those little wheels. Round and round it goes, getting nowhere in particular, but whizzing along non-stop.
I read the wonderful blog "Crazy Aunt Purl," which you should read too, if you aren't doing it already. Her descriptions of sleepless nights spent smoking in her backyard, when she would love to be asleep, but sleep is nowhere to be found, pretty much capture my feelings right now. Except for the smoking. And sitting in the back yard. Because, y'all, the humidity is set to Sauna and it's uncomfortable outside. And our back yard, which is a friendly place during daylight, backs up on the woods, and it's scary at night. Every movie featuring werewolves, mad killers, or clowns (the most scary thing of all!!!!! Think Tim Curry in "IT"!!!!!) that I've been stupid enough to watch, comes back to me in the dark at 4:45 a.m. I'm not sitting out there where the clowns could get me.
These nights would be easier to take if I could put on some music and clean the house, which I used to do when I was a single person. But Thomas would not appreciate that one tiny little bit. He had a long day yesterday, more than 12 hours at the office, and deserves a quiet night. I haven't been able to settle enough to read and there is nothing worth watching on tv. All the movies on our Netflix queue are just as unappealing to me right now. Looking at lolcats only gets me so far.
So I'm going to do the only thing there is to do at 5:13 in the morning. I'm going to rearrange my bookshelves!