28 February, 2013

You know, when you wear gray, you remind me of something...

So much for my beginning of the year goals to write more on this blog. I have no excuse other than laziness. And an extreme dislike of the iPad typing interface. Don’t get me wrong, I love the iPad, except if I have to type anything on it. Which makes it, for me, little more than an expensive piece of screen with which to check my facebook (but not post on it) and watch videos on the Youtube.
And our iPad is so old that it won’t let me watch all the videos I want to watch because of something called the Flash player, that is apparently so old and doddery it’s the computer equivalent of an 8-track tape deck. And if I try to look at the facebook page of my friends, nine times out of ten, the iPad dumps me out of Safari. It also won’t let me play Scrabble on facebook. I might as well be living in a cave and sending messages with fire and a blanket made out of animal hides.
I find myself in the position of needing to stop using the fancy technology which is the perfect size to use while lying in bed like a beached whale. And honestly? I’ve spent most of February since I got back from SC going to work, coming home, putting on pajamas, and heading to the bed like I am a beached whale and the surf is up. It’s pathetic. All I’ve wanted to do was watch gardening videos. Down side: general beached-whale sadness; accomplishments = 0; increased weight and self-loathing. Up sides: I now know a LOT about seed starting, permaculture, and replacing my lawn with a no-mow garden. See, there are positives even in Extreme Laziness.
I need to put away the iPad and start using my laptop, which would enable me to 1) type, 2) play Scrabble, and 3) post things. (I would like to point out that I am writing this post on the lovely laptop.)
And then, if the weather seems like winter is ever going to be over, I need to put the laptop away and get out there and do something in the yard! Cause let me tell you, dear readers (both of you!), I have plans for this yard. No more grass in the front yard. More things to grow and eat. More native plants.
Do you know anything about permaculture? As a way to produce food and improve the land/environment it is extremely appealing to me. The one drawback is that online it seems that people who are into it are either 1) prepper/survivalist types, 2) dirty hippies, or 3) Australians. Not sure where the Aussies come in as they don’t seem angry enough to be preppers or earnestly mellow/stoned enough to be hippies. I don’t really think I have it in me to become a survivalist because I don’t think living without the mod cons sounds like fun. I don’t WANT to live off the grid. So…you can see where this is going! In two years I will probably be unshaven, unshod, unwashed and reeking of patchouli.
One thing I can promise you though, I will not be trying to grow white-girl dreads. That’s just not going to happen. I think you should only have dreads if you have naturally twisty, curly hair. Anne Lamott looks good in her dreads, as did Bob Marley (mayherestinpeace). If I have to give up washing, I was thinking I’d find out how I look with a crew cut and a pair of granny glasses, a la Sinead O’Connor. I will also be wearing a bra under my dirty t-shirt, I don’t care if that makes me a bad hippy; the other Permaculturists will just have to accept me WITH my foundation garments. I may be a failed Southern lady, but I was raised right, and I’m not leaving the house without a bra.
Anyway, that's it for today. I have posted (!), so go me. I went to a programs meeting for quilt guild, and now I am 1) in pajamas and 2) playing on the Internetz. 


  1. I too am beached on my sofa, but with a laptop. I have the iPod plugged in to a little charging stand that lets me watch podcasts while I cook or sew or do laundry. The weather is improving over her so maybe today will be the start of my moving off my behind. I do worry about getting bedsores...

  2. I also live in bed, typing from there at 10:30 in the morning.